EXAMS!!

i feel so so so damn bad not studying AT ALL for the past 2 days..

i'm gonna go all out studying for this term's exams starting tomorrow..this is my vow..

no more lazing around no more "i'll study later" no more tv just study study study!!!

GUY DAY OUT!! (sounds gay)

after having some heart to heart talk with Cheryl on friday night i decided i need a break from my own life..i have to admit only after re-reading that conva i realise how fucked up i seemed to be..everything i said was really negative and it really just brings my morale down..the whole day i was feeling really off..so i decided on saturday i'm not gonna go jobweek (sorry Li Shawn) cause i seriously DO NOT feel well at all..i don't wanna transfer my negative energy to you guys..

so on saturday afternoon i went to 1u to watch IRON MAN and SPEED RACER..just me,myself and i(sounds familiar)!! it's like a guy day out but all by myself..IRON MAN was just as i expected..but the suit was really really cool..can't wait for the sequel..after that i watched SPEED RACER which was equally cool..i have to say i've never seen such a movie where humans are humans but everything else is animated at the same time..i spent a long time in the arcades too..just playing, playing and playing but i've only spent around 10 bucks there so to me it's time and money well spent..playing in the arcade, i just forget about everything else in the world..i enjoyed myself immensely and i actually finished the Advance level of Daytona with 15 seconds to spare.. i'm getting more and more pro edi..can't say the same for my pool skills..sucked pretty badly..


Gryffindor should change their mascot from a lion to IRON MAN..


my new favourite car..

i went looking for my colleagues too when i was in 1u..i haven't seen them in AGES and yet they did not changed one bit..i enjoyed chatting with them..the smile on their faces when they saw me was just amazing..it warms my heart..at 1st i just wanted to go there say hi then ciao but they are my family..at least they still treat me like a younger brother..Choy Yee was like the happiest to see me based on her reactions and immediately she noticed that i'm darker..and Sin Fei had to punch me after so many months..of course there's Vin who's gayness never stop amazes me..there's also Sky(yes he intro himself as Sky when we 1st met) who i think forgotten my name and just calls me lengzhai on that day..i had to go back the 2nd time since a few of them was having lunch at the time and also cause Siew Lian told me Bee Ling was saying just the other day "eh Yang kinda long never come visit us edi hor" so i HAD to at least say hi to her..so after SPEED RACER i went back and saw both Bee Ling and Mona..again they seemed really happy to see me..and also almost immediately they say that i'm darker..am i really that dark?? anyway Mona actually saw through me and asked if i had problems..at 1st she asked if i got relationships problem which was only half correct but not wanting to worry her i just denied..she said i looked rather grave as if i got into a fight with a close friend..it's moments like these that makes me cherish them more then ever..they made me realise that i'm not such a loser that i thought i am..the fact that i can bring smiles to their faces when they see me proofs that i'm not such a terrible guy..

after my day out,i realised that i've got to move on with life no matter what..at times i really wished i was back at SEED working and spending time with my colleagues but that's just not the way for me..the only reason they're there working cause they had no money to study..i also realised that if i start liking someone else then i'll need to be brave or in other words BE A MAN,MAKE BALLS FOR MYSELF(sounds wrong)..i thought liking *cough* was torture but THIS takes things to a whole new level..i'm just really confused now about my feelings..for both of them..

on another note

this is my 4th family (1st being my REAL family,2nd is my friends and 3rd is my colleagues)

PURPLE HOUSE!!!

I LOVE YOU GUYS TILL DEATH!!

and i promise i'll be back for next year's Sports Day to help out as long as someone keeps me posted about it..by then i'll be able to drive too..

emo post

I HATE BEING EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO!!!!

i never had an emo moment in such a long time..this whole day..well not the whole day mostly after tuition when i've finally had time for myself i suddenly had an emo attack..and i'm still emo now..

i really don't know whats happening to me..i just feel so so so so off the whole day and thats the truth..the day was fine nothing bad happened but somehow i still feel something is wrong..like something isn't happening..

i hate myself for being so weak now..to make things worse i'm listening to really really emo songs..i really can't help it..


WHY WHY WHY!!!

expedition..

after more than a few months..i went CYCLING!!

around 5 plus i cycled over to ah neh's place..mark tagged along so we went we went to the OTAI burger stall behind SHELL..according to Uncle Shah(ah neh's driver) the burgers there are nice..110% crap..the burgers there were the worst EVER tasted in my entire life (excluding those burgers that i had from fund raisers) my ayam special tasted like..nothing..tasteless shit..it was so dreadful i didn't take a pic of it..i threw around a quarter of the burger..too terrible..

then we went looking for CENDOL..1st CENDOL stop was opposite PETRONAS..sau dong edi so we went to the other side of TAMAN TUN..that wan oso sau dong..manyak DULAN cycling here and there so we decided to stop at Makbul and yamcha there..both me and mark ordered ice kacang..damn big and only for 3.50..damn dai..ah neh ordered ROJAK and MEGGI GORENG TAK MAU PEDAS TAK MAU SAYUR..ice kacang was so so so damn good..Makbul is so going to be one of my yamcha place when i get to drive..that's after Murni..

went home and stoned until now..and i need to get started on studying..exams 2 weeks away..no mood..no matter what i'll have to push myself..this term's target..as always..PASS EVERY SINGLE DAMN SUBJECT!!



i'm everyone's friend..but i'm no one's best friend..not complaining..just observation..
and why the hell am i feeling so confused..is it temporary??

random post..

anyway i really want to blog about sports day but i want to wait for the pictures to arrive from all the other ungu members..i don't know how many cameras were used so i'll just have to slowly find out myself..for now i shall just recap my sports day..

thursday:- i spent the whole freaking day in school from 8am till 8pm(except for the 2 hours in tuition)..i followed Mr.William around to buy stuff for the house but since it was Labours Day a lot of shops didn't open so everything was bought in Old Town which was much much more expensive than usual..just so you guys know..you need nerves of steel to sit in Mr.Williams car..he's driving is just so so so.."YENG"..the whole day i was training the marchers and helping out the deco..i'm just a bit disappointed the 2 Pegasus was a bit too tiny..

friday:- from morning till late evening i was in school building the gadjet to be used as the "Temple of Victory".. i went home around 6.30pm,bathed,ate and went back to school..instead of helping my fellow house members,i went yamcha with wei ren,brianC,brianL and Kah Joon at Murni SS2..i didn't regret it at all..it was the funniest time ever..1st Wei Ren got into a small *cough* then while in Murni somehow i was the entertainer for once..i guess i was too tired and didn't think through properly before i spoke..everything i said wasn't really making any sense..anyway on the way back school the 5 of us in the Satria was constantly laughing due to Wei Ren's *cough* lack of judgement *cough* in driving..it was fun,exciting and scary at the same time..and Kah Joon honked some Indian/Malay guy (i don't know whichever) cause he simply crossed the road..

friday night/saturday early morning:- i helped the deco team(just a lil) and then went off to work with the gadjet..i wanted to sleep at around 12 somethign since everyone is pushing me to sleep as i was to run on Sports Day..but how could i with all the useless form4 assholes (one in perticular) who does his job terribly and doesn't help others..in the end i slept at 2.30am but had to wake up around 3am to check on the assholes..at least this time Wei Kuang is awake..so that's the end of my involvement in the Deco..

Sports day:- i woke up around 5.30am,wash up and went to check on the marchers..they looked great and Zeus(Wei Chuen) looked..rather real..so i had a piece of bread from Soo Ling,banana from Li Shawn and Red Bull from Xiau Yen for breakfast which was really great..at least i had the energy to run for the 2 events i was participating in..

that's my Sports Day..i just want to say i'm really really proud of the marchers..even though they didnt win they gave it their all which means a lot to me..(i doubt any of them reads my blog) and also special thanks to Li Shawn,Neal,Cindy,Pei Wen,Xiau Yen,Wei Kuang for supporting me and each other during the whole event..not forgetting all the other ungu members and also REN HONG for betraying his rumah and helping us with the decos..i love you guys till death..

for now..I WANT THOSE BLOODY PICTURES!!!


i feel so lost now..i'm really confused about myself,my feelings..what should i do??(i know it's damn random but i can't help myself..need to express my feeling somehow)

strangers

i know it's a bit odd blogging about strangers but this two seems really nice people..

1st is Paul from England..had a very very very good chat with him while playing yahoo pool..i haven't played the game in a year and when i re-started(thanks to jess) i'm having the time of my life playing the game..people in the game has changed since i last played it..everyone is chatting with each other in the game..what i know is Paul is 22yo and he is in Accounting..he watches football and he is into MCR..rocker dude i guess..

then today i meet this 25yo chick name angie from texas,USA..i don't know if she's a chick lah 'm just guessing since she's 25..she's a school math teacher though i don't know which grade she is teaching..

the best part was both of them knows about Malaysia!! Malaysia Boleh wei..

it was fun knowing these 2 people..it has changed my perspective of "people i might met on the internet" cause i expected 99% of horn dogs or people like that..Paul and Angie showed me that there are good people on the internet too..too bad i didn't get their e-mails cause i still think it's not safe enough to do so..hopefully we'll meet again someday in pool then i'll definately get their e-mails..

weekend

while the weekend is ending soon,i realised i haven't start my studying for the mid-term exams..

on saturday we had the Majlis Anugerah Cermelang so interacters had to duty..usherers..damn idiotic job considering the hall is in plain sight and parents aren't that blind or stupid to not notice the hall..then we had to escort them to the hall but most of them say don't need..we had further instructions to stick with them..and they too ask us to fuck off in a polite way..
conclusion..ONLY USHER PEOPLE WHEN THEY ARE AT PLACES THEY DON'T KNOW OFF!!
after that started taking videos for the scout campfire..the chairperson and vice-chairperson video is rather funny but you guys will need to wait until the campfire to watch it..(cause we haven't finish filming let alone editing)

then i head over to MV to celebrate Ee Lynn's b'day..walked around MV and Gardens which was a first..we head into bra shops like La Senza and another one which i can't remember cause BrianC wanted to know more about bras..went over to Toys R Us as it is a routine..selepas itu went to Secret Recipe to eat cake..7 different types of cake(supposedly fitted together to be one cake but i heard that Jie Yi mad a mess outta it so it was served in 7 different plates)Ee Lynn was very very shocked and suprised..then yamcha and went home..on the bus Jie Yi was so so so so shocked when she found out the bus is taking a big round before reaching 1u(what do you expect with a public bus) and she wanted to drop off somewhere between seksyen 14 and Tmn Paramount so her dad could fetch her..me and shue ze talked her outta the idea since it would a waste of time..

today..went to some fund raiser lunch at jess's house..the food was erm..rather erm..nice?? cooked rice with ulam and spegetti with a much too sour sauce..watched some Tamil movie which was hilarious because of the way Li Chung was fascinated by it..then watched "The Messenger"..i didn't know Li Chung was THAT scared of horrors..i mean i'm afraid of it too but at least i can watch it..i can WATCH but it's the AFTER-EFFECT that's killing me so i don't watch it..

now a days i felt a surge of loneliness..don't know why though..i have great friends but somehow i still feel lonely....it's as if i don't have a friend which i can really truely depend on with all my heart(no offence guys)*note to Brian and even I-Ting..don't tell me i should connect with God or stuff like that cause you guys know i won't*any ways to overcome such loneliness??