lifelessness

i'm losing my blogging mojo

i've got nothing to blog about

the past few post was also rather lame

it shows my life is rather dull and unproductive

so it made me wonder

should i get myself my other half??

to make my life better??

to fill the boredom in my current life??

to make myself feel better??

why do i think that??

cause my class almost everyone got theirs

makes me feel rather left out

but then i continue thinking

do i want to find my other half now just because of my classmates??

or cause i want one??

but at then end of the day thinking of such things is a waste of my time

because

i'm not interested in anyone

no one is interested in me

i'm not interested in making someone show interest in me

i don't have the looks or the personality to make people want to know me

or maybe i have just issues with having a girlfriend

cause all my previous crushes and relationships ended VERY VERY sadly for me

they broke my heart

they crushed my soul

they made me ball-ess

they made my life miserable at times

i don't want such misery

that's why i chose to stay single

but am i gonna stay single for the rest of my life?

cause i'm afraid that my fragile heart would shatter into a million pieces again?

or would i go get my balls back

to go get a girlfriend

i have no idea

all i know is

i don't mind knowing girls

but i've became a pussy when it comes to getting to know them better

cause i'm afraid

i'm always afraid

this fear will never go away

people always say if you don't try you'll never know

but if you tried so hard and put in so much effort and yet you still got rejected??

it hurts

it hurts damn bloody bad

i know what it felt like

so then what's the point of trying??

just to get your heart broken??

so what should i do about this fear??






sorry for boring you guys with this post..it wasn't meant to be an emo post but one thing led to another..

tyre change

my manhood has just gone up another level.. after changing car battery the other day, today i changed tyre of a car..proton perdana to be exact.. it was much harder than i anticipated because i remember seeing a family friend changing his car's tyre and it didn't look that hard.. me and ah neh spend quite a long time changing the tyre but in the end we got it done with some help from 2 bus drivers.. they were kind enough to help us out..

it's already a month since i switched to Taylor's.. time really does fly now a days.. i still remember during primary school thinking why days pass so slow but now weeks fly by rather quickly.. one by one friends start leaving us and although new friends are fun but old friends are the ones that we forged a strong bond with.. hopefully when they're studying abroad they won't forget us..

again..appreciate what we have..try not to have any regrets

illegal

i just realised something really fucked up..i've been driving my car with an expired road tax for more than a month.. my car's road tax expired on the 9th of March.. today is 17th of April edi.. really lucky i'm not caught..gonna change it 1st thing in the morning..

fight

today i saw a 'almost' fight outside of college.. a chinese and an indian was shoving and pushing each other at the shoplots opposite AC.. the chinese was shouting so loud i could hear him even though i was in my car driving.. i wanted to stop and watch but there were cars behind me so i had to move and i couldn't find space to park and watch..the last thing i saw was the indian's friend walking up to the fight and one of them was kinda like holding the chinese and pointing a finger in his face.. i think the chinese no gang to call..

gonna have a holiday on friday since all the SAM teacher is going for Professional Development.. gonna have a good night's sleep for the 1st time in a long time..

update

my gold bright gold/gold/brown hair is finally gone.. after 4 months plus i've decided to cut my hair so short it's all black now.. glad to have my hair black again..missed it so much..

going down south to malacca from tomorrow till sunday for the Golden Child Project.. it's done by the rotaract club bringing terminally-ill children to A'famosa for a weekend full of fun..

college has been fun..my class is damn awesome..and my schedule has been changed back to it's original way.. still having classes 8-4 everyday though but it's not as tiring as it 1st was.. can feel the assignments starting to come now and i'm gonna have a few class test in the next few weeks.. starting to feel the hectic life of SAM..

just now when i went to cut my hair the hair stylist actually remembers me even though i haven't been to the salon since i dyed my hair which is around 1-2 weeks after SPM.. she jokingly complained why didn't i come back earlier and that my hair is a mess and damn long.. i'm really satisfied with the haircut.. my head feels much lighter and less hot..

we really need to appreciate what we have now and don't take things for granted.. when someone or something is in front of you today he/she/it might not be there tomorrow.. everything changes at any given moment.. don't be an ass if you can help it.. cherish every moment you have..