lifelessness

i'm losing my blogging mojo

i've got nothing to blog about

the past few post was also rather lame

it shows my life is rather dull and unproductive

so it made me wonder

should i get myself my other half??

to make my life better??

to fill the boredom in my current life??

to make myself feel better??

why do i think that??

cause my class almost everyone got theirs

makes me feel rather left out

but then i continue thinking

do i want to find my other half now just because of my classmates??

or cause i want one??

but at then end of the day thinking of such things is a waste of my time

because

i'm not interested in anyone

no one is interested in me

i'm not interested in making someone show interest in me

i don't have the looks or the personality to make people want to know me

or maybe i have just issues with having a girlfriend

cause all my previous crushes and relationships ended VERY VERY sadly for me

they broke my heart

they crushed my soul

they made me ball-ess

they made my life miserable at times

i don't want such misery

that's why i chose to stay single

but am i gonna stay single for the rest of my life?

cause i'm afraid that my fragile heart would shatter into a million pieces again?

or would i go get my balls back

to go get a girlfriend

i have no idea

all i know is

i don't mind knowing girls

but i've became a pussy when it comes to getting to know them better

cause i'm afraid

i'm always afraid

this fear will never go away

people always say if you don't try you'll never know

but if you tried so hard and put in so much effort and yet you still got rejected??

it hurts

it hurts damn bloody bad

i know what it felt like

so then what's the point of trying??

just to get your heart broken??

so what should i do about this fear??






sorry for boring you guys with this post..it wasn't meant to be an emo post but one thing led to another..