the end

my blog is officially dead.. no point coming to visit my blog anymore.. i doubt i'll be posting anything for a long long long long time.. the only reason i'm keeping this blog open to to visit others' blog..

so this is the end of this blog..i might post something but it'll be far and few between..or is it few and far between..

solitaire

finally my internet connection is stable after 1 week of hell.. shitty streamyx can go burn in hell lah.. konan wanna become first world country..

gonna have holidays starting next week.. can't bloody wait.. 2 weeks of freedom minus the 4 days i'll be spending in supercamp.. the downside is i'll have plenty to do starting with my esl draft.. the week right after my holidays is shitty though.. 2 days of math DI plus a math quiz not to forget the due date for my esl draft.. as much as holidays is here i'll have lots to work on..

it's already the month of MAY.. it's already two months since i've been in Taylor's.. everything's been good.. lecturers are much more fun to the extend they can say "i'm too hot to handle".. even though i have longer hours but i'm having much more fun compared to my time in HELP.. so in conclusion HELP really does sucks in a way lah.. sucks pretty badly too..

nothing much to update about.. quite lifeless now..hopefully the holidays will be fun..

still going through the phase..damn i hate these confusing thoughts and the over-thinking-ness of me.. why can't i just be more initiative..

papercut

i had the best damn dimsum EVER this morning.. since today is mother's day, my elder bro brought the whole family to this place called restaurant jin xuan hong kong.. at 1st we went to the Uptown branch but it was so packed so my bro took us to another one near Atria.. the line was WAY longer than the line in Uptown so my bro went back to the one in Uptown.. we waited a while before we got a table there.. the dimsums there were AMAZING.. usually i'm not really fussy about food but this shop's dimsum was seriously damn good..way better than all the other big dimsum places that i've been too.. the best plate was of course their SIEWMAI which has the diameter of a 50sen coin if not even bigger than that and it tastes REALLY GOOD.. but the price is really expensive too.. the bill was 100 bucks.. 100 bucks for breakfast.. not very typical of my family..

so i went back to chs thrice this week.. twice on thursday and once on friday cause it was sports day.. it was just the same as last year with all the preparation and stuff.. only that this year i noticed there was significantly less people who stayed back to help the deco and stuff.. however they still got their job done and khemah was very nicely done.. much better than last year's.. and this year purple house got CHAMPION overall.. i'm very proud of them with all the effort they put into everything they do.. they beat us fair and square..

college has been all right so far..in about 2 weeks i'll have my semester break for 2 weeks.. technically it's only 1 week since the 1st week i'm gonna have LAN classes.. 1 whole bloody week of LAN.. hopefully i'll get a teacher who doesn't give a damn about attendance so i can miss classes easier.. assignments and test and coming thick and fast even though it's still early stages but the workload is steadily becoming heavier.. however i'm still not feeling the hectic-ness just yet.. having said that it's not something i'm looking forward to..

oh yeah went clubbing for the 1st time the night before Labour's Day.. it was a cool experience but i definitely didn't enjoy it as much as i would have liked since i can't drink too much or i can't get too high as i have to drive back later that night.. being sober has it's advantage though cause you can remember everything that happens and you can watch all the weird and funny happenings in the club.. drunk people falling down, dramas in the toilets, people making out..

i'm going through this phase now.. as much as i don't like it i know it's gonna happen after that.. the next few days will be tough for me but i'll have to struggle through it.. hopefully my confusions will clear up soon..

*ps* I DROVE MY BRO'S CAR JUST NOW AND IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!!

shit driver award

i got myself into another accident today..it's my 2nd one in a few months.. feeling kinda shitty about it.. it's like i know this accident is coming sooner or later by the way i was driving.. i had this nagging feeling if i don't change my driving style i'll get into one of these accidents but i still drove like an asshole and now i got my car banged up.. hopefully it's still repairable.. so now i'm feeling like the world's worst driving.. shit driver award goes to me man..

long story short i couldn't brake in time and i banged some lady's myvi.. her rear bumper had some scratches and her sensors came off other than that it was okay..at 1st i thought my car was in even better shape as it didn't seem to have any extra dents or scratches.. after my bro helped me settle with the lady i drove back thinking nothing was wrong.. after less than 2 minutes into my drive i noticed the sound of my engine wasn't right and i realised my temperature meter was hitting the H part so i know something was very wrong.. i quickly called my mom to tell her i'll be going to the workshop and i drove the car as carefully as possible.. when i reached the workshop the engine somehow wouldn't shut down so the mechanic manually turned it off..when he popped the hood steam was coming from the radiator..my engine was overheated like crazy.. he said he needs at least 3 days to repair it.. even though he's been working on this old Toyota Starlet for so many years from the tone of his voice i can tell he's not really confident on fixing it.. he said something like "if it's fixable then i'll fix but the parts are really hard to find".. so fingers crossed i'll still have a car to drive

while waiting for my mom to come the mechanic jokingly said "so it's time to change car huh" and i was like "yeah maybe".. i mean i don't mind driving this car but it's really starting to feel unsafe.. of course having a newer car will always be better since it's much safer but i'm just so used to driving my Starlet.. even though it sounds rather corny but i'm rather attached to the car..feels like it's part of me.. so i'm rather undecided should i ask my dad for a new car or stick with the old one if it's fixable.. i don't mind having a 2nd hand car as long as it's nice and easy to drive and of course it's a manual car.. but then again financial issues i guess..i wouldn't wanna burden my dad..

so for now i don't have a car..going to college and coming back will be a hassle since i'm used to driving here everyday.. i'm seriously wishing the best for my car..

lifelessness

i'm losing my blogging mojo

i've got nothing to blog about

the past few post was also rather lame

it shows my life is rather dull and unproductive

so it made me wonder

should i get myself my other half??

to make my life better??

to fill the boredom in my current life??

to make myself feel better??

why do i think that??

cause my class almost everyone got theirs

makes me feel rather left out

but then i continue thinking

do i want to find my other half now just because of my classmates??

or cause i want one??

but at then end of the day thinking of such things is a waste of my time

because

i'm not interested in anyone

no one is interested in me

i'm not interested in making someone show interest in me

i don't have the looks or the personality to make people want to know me

or maybe i have just issues with having a girlfriend

cause all my previous crushes and relationships ended VERY VERY sadly for me

they broke my heart

they crushed my soul

they made me ball-ess

they made my life miserable at times

i don't want such misery

that's why i chose to stay single

but am i gonna stay single for the rest of my life?

cause i'm afraid that my fragile heart would shatter into a million pieces again?

or would i go get my balls back

to go get a girlfriend

i have no idea

all i know is

i don't mind knowing girls

but i've became a pussy when it comes to getting to know them better

cause i'm afraid

i'm always afraid

this fear will never go away

people always say if you don't try you'll never know

but if you tried so hard and put in so much effort and yet you still got rejected??

it hurts

it hurts damn bloody bad

i know what it felt like

so then what's the point of trying??

just to get your heart broken??

so what should i do about this fear??






sorry for boring you guys with this post..it wasn't meant to be an emo post but one thing led to another..

tyre change

my manhood has just gone up another level.. after changing car battery the other day, today i changed tyre of a car..proton perdana to be exact.. it was much harder than i anticipated because i remember seeing a family friend changing his car's tyre and it didn't look that hard.. me and ah neh spend quite a long time changing the tyre but in the end we got it done with some help from 2 bus drivers.. they were kind enough to help us out..

it's already a month since i switched to Taylor's.. time really does fly now a days.. i still remember during primary school thinking why days pass so slow but now weeks fly by rather quickly.. one by one friends start leaving us and although new friends are fun but old friends are the ones that we forged a strong bond with.. hopefully when they're studying abroad they won't forget us..

again..appreciate what we have..try not to have any regrets

illegal

i just realised something really fucked up..i've been driving my car with an expired road tax for more than a month.. my car's road tax expired on the 9th of March.. today is 17th of April edi.. really lucky i'm not caught..gonna change it 1st thing in the morning..

fight

today i saw a 'almost' fight outside of college.. a chinese and an indian was shoving and pushing each other at the shoplots opposite AC.. the chinese was shouting so loud i could hear him even though i was in my car driving.. i wanted to stop and watch but there were cars behind me so i had to move and i couldn't find space to park and watch..the last thing i saw was the indian's friend walking up to the fight and one of them was kinda like holding the chinese and pointing a finger in his face.. i think the chinese no gang to call..

gonna have a holiday on friday since all the SAM teacher is going for Professional Development.. gonna have a good night's sleep for the 1st time in a long time..

update

my gold bright gold/gold/brown hair is finally gone.. after 4 months plus i've decided to cut my hair so short it's all black now.. glad to have my hair black again..missed it so much..

going down south to malacca from tomorrow till sunday for the Golden Child Project.. it's done by the rotaract club bringing terminally-ill children to A'famosa for a weekend full of fun..

college has been fun..my class is damn awesome..and my schedule has been changed back to it's original way.. still having classes 8-4 everyday though but it's not as tiring as it 1st was.. can feel the assignments starting to come now and i'm gonna have a few class test in the next few weeks.. starting to feel the hectic life of SAM..

just now when i went to cut my hair the hair stylist actually remembers me even though i haven't been to the salon since i dyed my hair which is around 1-2 weeks after SPM.. she jokingly complained why didn't i come back earlier and that my hair is a mess and damn long.. i'm really satisfied with the haircut.. my head feels much lighter and less hot..

we really need to appreciate what we have now and don't take things for granted.. when someone or something is in front of you today he/she/it might not be there tomorrow.. everything changes at any given moment.. don't be an ass if you can help it.. cherish every moment you have..

1 week on

it's been a week since i changed to the SAM programme in taylor's..yes i'm in taylor's now studying SAM.. i enrolled into the March intake which is the express course which everyone is wishing me luck since it's like gonna be fucking hectic.. sorry for ditching shen yuan in HELP..i just couldn't stand it there anymore.. i feel really bad for wasting around 6k at HELP..if only i had stood my ground i would have been in taylor's in January.. but things happen for a reason..

now i'm feeling great in taylor's with my new classmates who are clicking with each other VERY quickly.. my lecturers are all good except my accounts lecturer Mrs.Lee(who is also my mentor)which is shit.. no offence lah but her teaching really sucks.. my econs lecturer, Pn.Nur always laughs even at herself.. Psychology lecturer, Ms Audrey is only 24 and she VERY VERY chill in the lessons.. then i have my ESL lecturer, Ms Rajani who i think is A BIT too serious.. last is my maths lecturer, Mr.Tharam which is a cool dude.. my class has 7 guys and the rest are girls which has around 21?? they nice ppl.. i like them..

and last friday i helped astin changed her bloody car battery.. the battery was totally fucked up to the point one of the terminal just snapped off when i tried unscrewing it loose.. never in my life i had my hands so dirty.. but the experience was fun..personally i like all this mechanical stuff but i'm not pursuing it cause no money to earn.. anyway helping ppl is a good thing to do.. even though i don't really like astin at times but helping her out has somehow made me feel good.. i can feel good karma coming to me edi hehe..

anyway i'm off to yamcha..

Good Deed

well today i did a good deed and i'm feeling proud of it.. i saved someone from a terrible doom and hopefully she'll be eternally grateful to me..

the 1st time i've gotten my hands so dirty..

it's a stupid and short update i know..i damn lazy tell the whole story.. tomorrow having performance in CHS for ICCHS's IU day..

i hate black ppl

today when i was to leave HELP i noticed that my car was double-parked by a Proton Gen2.. being in HELP this was expected but what i did not expect was the idiot to not put a contact number so that i can call him/her.. i checked out the car but no paper or number then i thought maybe the paper fell to the floor so i looked deeper in..still no paper.. so i waited for the owner of the car to show up..they were a black negro couple..i was so full of rage i could have just shouted and punch them but i just sat in the car hoping the assholes faster move away.. so from the moment i started waiting until the moment the blacks show up is was 3 BLOODY HOURS wasted.. what a way to end my time in HELP..

hopefully the decision i made is the right one..if not i'm a dead man..

WHY!!

i am fucking sick of him.. the fucking asshole who takes everyone and everything for granted..i'm not fucking here to serve and wait for you..i'm wasting my fucking time so you can fucking get your stuff done which you could have done so earlier in the day BUT NO YOU HAD TO FUCKING MAKE ME DRIVE YOU TO GET YOUR SHIT DONE AND MADE ME WAIT ANOTHER FUCKING 15 MINUTES SO YOU CAN GET FOOD..FUCKING DON'T BUY IF YOU NEED TO WAIT SO LONG I'M NOT HERE TO FUCKING SERVE YOU..WHEN CAN YOU FUCKING LEARN THAT THE WORLD DOESN'T FUCKING REVOLVE AROUND YOU..

i have never felt this pissed since god knows when..

another post about my poor car

well today i got into an accident..my 1st one since i got my license..

while i was u-turning outside my house the dude just came outta no where and smashed into my car.. from the pig's point of view he said even though there was another car double parking around 50 metres from me he was at a distance far enough that i should be able to spot him coming.. but 50 meters of distance in terms of car speed isn't much..less than 1 second.. so when i spotted his car it was JUST before he bang me..the unavoidable happened and we crashed.. when he came down the 1st thing he said was "so how?".. i was like WTF SO HOW?? but i was too stun to say anything..my mom came out but she can't do much cause she doesn't know the exact details.. so we exchanged phone numbers and i was to pay for his repairs..RM630!! oh yeah there was another pig who saw the accident also pointed that it was my fault..two pig against a kid who just got his license.. damn fucked up lor society now..he of all ppl should see that the guy's is on the wrong lane.. so what if you cut across the double-parked car you have enough space to go back into your own lane..and if you see me u-turning why can't you just stop..pigs..

so my sis came back home for lunch she spotted that the guy was driving on the wrong side of the road..the debris of the crash was on the opposite side of the road.. meaning that i was already entering my lane and he was on my lane..i should have spotted it but i was too stun and feeling fucked up.. so now i'm left with no car for god knows how long.. it's being repaired cause my suspension is senget..force of the impact bent the metal..

but i think it's good that we never go police..cause i'm sure that he'll talk his way through to winning everything and then i'll have to pay for his repairs AND the compound of RM300.. but i'm feeling really bad about it lah..my parents have to pay for his repairs and also mine.. i'm really sorry..i'm actually quite disappointed with myself..



his car


my car..the damage doesn't look much but as i said the suspension inside bent.. so deemed un-drivable..

shitty pigs..

my poor car

have you ever tried driving a car while fetching 6 ppl excluding yourself.. i make it 7 person in a normal 4-door car.. i'm sure some of you had that experience..but have you guys have 7 person sitting in a OLD BATTERED car which is 25 years old this year?? bet you guys never tried that leh.. yesterday was my 1st and hopefully last experience doing that with my car..a 1984 production car named TOYOTA STARLET.. i had li chung at the front passenger seat and jieyi,yeeaun,astin,kaijie,brianloh at the back.. it wasn't the extra weight that was bothering me but all the screaming and yelling that was really really annoying.. i had to actually shout SHUT UP because it was that fucked up.. i seriously hope my car's suspension isn't too damaged cause i hit a few bumps and small holes rather quicker than what i would have want and the screaming following that was quite unbearable.. and i'm feeling rather lucky cause shueze wasn't there..if not i don't know how the hell we'll make it through the night..

anyway..HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MISS LIM JIE YI..

kawan since std 2 or 3 which makes us friends for 10 years or more depending on how you count it..(this is the only pic i have of us)


and this is my car for those of you who have never seen it..i'm sure a lot of you would have heard of it..





it's writen "TOYOTA STARLET" if you can't see it..


(ignore my shirt there..)



seems pretty amazing that i can fetch so many ppl in this car.. i think i'm gonna have to drive it for another year or so cause i don't think my parents is getting me a car anytime soon new or 2nd hand..

today nearly got into car accident TWICE.. once was nearly kissing a merc's ass while going to college(that one partly my fault) and the 2nd time was going over to chs to fetch my bro..that one the fucker cari pasal.. cutting into my lane without looking just to get pass a bike being ridden slowly on his lane.. what are mirrors for..assholes..

mid-terms starting this sat.. i'm starting to freak out for computing principle..the other 3 i can tackle no problem.. hopefully i'll get good grades.. so far my quizzes hasnt been too bad.. english i got 7.38/10..finite maths 8/10..computing principle 3/5..but i don't know how much i got for my Jordan piece in study skill..it carries 15%..

only 38 more weeks to go..

V-Day

well yesterday was valentine's day.. for those who spent it alone, there's nothing wrong with it.. don't go emo-ing at a corner of your room or drown yourself in chocolate.. and it's not SINGLE AWARENESS DAY either since we don't need valentine's to know that we're single.. how did i spend my valentine's?? by going back to my old school to stone and also to MV with a bunch of friends to spend a group valentine.. the good thing about going back to school is that Pn.Hoon said i YING JUN SIAO SA(it means handsome if you guys don't know chinese) but overall the trip back to school was a total waste of time..

so KP,xiauyen, shueze, weiseong, weijie, fiona and i went to MV initially wanted to watch a movie, how ever seeing the que for tickets we dropped the idea.. had lunch at Domino's which was a total rip-off seeing as how small the pizza was and that they served us SHIT(refer to KP's blog).. then we had dessert at somewhere i don't know but it's just outside QQ cut.. saw A LOT of lesbian couples and un-dignified man(males who walk around carrying their girl's handbag no matter how feminine or how girly the bag is) and KP was so into a girl's ass he didn't notice we weren't walking behind him until perhaps 50meters later..

and i'm not continuing my studies in HELP after i finish my foundation programme.. why?? cause i find the place depressing and that HELP's marketing degree is not strong if i were to use it to apply for jobs.. i'm most likely going to MonashU or Taylor's Business School..

Mid-terms coming up soon.. and somehow i'm not really anxious about it.. is something wrong with me?

NEW TYRES!!

my dad just bought 4 BRAND NEW TYRES for my old Toyota Starlet.. just so you know the car is 25 years old this year.. i can't wait to drive my car tomorrow..

that night when i fetched ee lynn home after astin's party somehow we talked about me going to races and being a racer when my bro feels that i'm ready and up to the challenge and decides brings me to races.. after the talk it made me wonder if i really wanna go and race?? i know i have a passion for racing deep in my heart but after sitting in my brother's car that day and realising that he was the type of driver who drives around like a maniac(but you can't deny he's always in control) i kept thinking to myself "will i become like him??" what if i started racing and become like him.. i'm not saying he's a bad driver, in fact he is a great driver.. but i just don't want to start driving around like a maniac, cutting in and out of lanes at will.. i want to race, i really do but if i become a maniac driver, is it worth it??

and now i realise something.. after years of being single i now have no more balls.. i saw 2 chicks in 2 different classes and yet i haven't got the balls to talk to anyone of them..my balls shrank to the point i rather not know them and just see them few times a week.. damn sad shit huh..

thats my life now..balless and loner..

one month on

i bloody hate my finite maths teacher.. i hate him more than i hate any other teachers in my life.. he's just as bad and as terrible as being a teacher in CHS.. those useless teachers lah.. he's teaching us as if we're 5 year old kids and he is not treating us like adults or grown ups at all.. the only good thing is that i'm only gonna see him for another 9 weeks and continue life in HELP without him..

so one month into college life and the only thing i have to say it's much more free compared to chs.. maybe not so for taylor's ppl lah but my foundation seriously damn free.. even my schedule is so damn free.. my assignments are always given perhaps 2,3 weeks in advance so we do have time to finish it and do it properly.. the only thing i have against HELP is friends i guess.. i see taylor's everyone berkawan-kawan so quickly but here it's still very "in my own world" type of feel..

having quizzes over the next week..hopefully and do well and prepare well for my mid-terms which is on the last week of Feb.. the shitty part is that i can't make it to the Golden Child's project with rotaract cause it's being held over the weekend before my finals..damn sad shit..

Condolences

i can't believe my 1st post after 10 days is a rather sad and grim post.. this morning i recieved a msg which i've been dreading for quite some time.. our dearest friend Yee Sook passed away just this morning.. a sad news coming so near to CNY.. i feel really sad for his family for losing a good and happy family member so close to the CNY celebration..

Personally i dont know Yee Sook well at all..we were just hi bye friends but i can tell from how others talked about him he was a great friend to have.. i really admire his dancing skills and determination as well.. i still remembered during the scout's campfire night we screwed up his music and yet he danced on as if nothing happened and he wanted to get out there again just to show what he can really do with his dance team.. that is a real testemant of his passion for dancing..

i still remember when i last visited him which was 2 weeks ago.. although he didn't look as bad as i thought he would be, i was still very shocked at his apearance.. he wasn't bubbly or cheerful as i known him to be.. by the look of things i was ready for the worst.. but at then end of the day.. why him?? i can think of loads of people who deserves such punishment other than him..he was kind and cheerful.. always has a smile on his face.. it's just too hard to stomach it..

Yee Sook was a great man and ultimately a great friend.. i hope that you rest in peace and that which ever god you pray to protect you from harm and danger in your afterlife.. to Yee Sook..

missing my black hair

as much as i like my current hair-colour.. i really really miss my black hair.. now a days i wake up,look at my hair and go "haiz gold hair again".. yeah that pretty much sums up how i feel about my hair now.. I WANT MY BLACK HAIR BACK!! but i don't want to shave hahahahahahahah.. i'm planning to trim it bacause the length is killing me..not to say it's long but i just don't like my current hair.. especially the god-damn fringe..can't stop poking my eyes.. damn bloody dulan edi.. slightly new hair for chinese new year i guess..

college has been gradually getting better.. i'm starting to get used to the environment and stuff.. now i have this Malaysian Indian-German dude as my lab partner in computing principle.. he's a cool guy and his name is Chris too hahahahaha..

i'm still missing my high school friends though..i don't know if there is a day when this feeling will go entirely away yet i don't want it to.. i still don't see myself in a gang with any of the people i've met so far in col and it's hard to gang up since we're always in different classes all the time.. for instance i saw this lenglui in computing principle tutorial but i'll most probably gonna see her only once a week since that's the only lesson which we are classmates.. how to get to know her better??

oh yeah i'm performing with my band "ice-cold morning" this Saturday at KDU for the leo club of SMK DU.. though i don't think any of you would go since we can't get tickets for you i hope you guys would support us from the heart.. that sounds really weird.. somehow i get this fantasy that Jien would somehow think we're a really good and potential band that he'll hook us up with some agent or stuff.. hopefully that will come true..

i still hope my col life will get better..

1st week in college

technically i finished my 1st week of college since i don't have classes on friday.. yes i DON'T HAVE any classes on friday unless there's a replacement class..

and i love my schedule.. this is why

Monday
8am to 9.30 am Finite Maths Lecture
9.30am to 11am Intermediate English Lecture

Tuesday
8am to 9.30am Intermediate English Lecture
10am to 12pm Computing Principle Lecture
12.30om to 2pm Finite Maths Lecture

Wednesday
8am to 9.30 am Intermediate English Tutorial
9.30am to 11am Computing Principle Tutorial
2pm to 4pm Computing Principle Lab (i can go back early if i finish early)

Thursday
9.30am to 11am Finite Maths Tutorial
11am to 12.30pm Study Skills class

Friday
EMPTY!! NO CLASS!! FREE!!


i realise the malaysian chinese in HELP speak chinese instead of english.. a bit surprising since i thought college is all about english.. other than that nothing much lah.. and i'm really grateful i don't need to sweat while walking between classes since the main block of HELP is fully air-conditioned.. unlike wisma HELP or KPD where you need to walk under the sun..

making new friends is another problem for me..i'm not really those sociable type of person so yeah until i still don't have any new friends..unless you count the ones i speak to during discussions in class which i dont know their name..

still missing my old friends.. i don't miss high school.. just my high school friends..i really hope we get to meet up regularly..

College

tomorrow is orientation day for me at HELP.. i'm taking foundation in art for my pre-u which looks like a good course for ppl like me since i don't like studying much but the shit side is all my friends are in A level.. can't do anything about it..make new friends i guess.. i seriuosly hope my course has chicks cause it'll be damn bloody sien without chicks around..

new school new environment new friends perhaps new life and hopefully new love..